As womxn, our journey into sovereignty often involves reclaiming the boundaries and consent that were taken from us in childhood or lost along the way. Whether through overt or subtle means, many of us learned to silence our inner voice, to put the needs of others before our own, or to go along with situations that didn’t feel right in order to keep the peace or to gain a sense of 'false belonging'.

When we speak about boundaries and consent, we are talking about our power to say “yes” and “no” with clarity and confidence. These simple words carry immense weight because they represent our right to inhabit our bodies fully, to protect our energy and to decide what enters our personal space. Yet, for many of us, this is easier said than done.

The Challenges of Boundaries and Consent
The process of setting boundaries or saying “no” can feel foreign, even frightening, when we’ve spent much of our lives being told—implicitly or explicitly—that our worth is tied to being agreeable, accommodating or self-sacrificing. This conditioning often begins in childhood, where we may have been expected to be “good girls,” to avoid conflict, or to prioritize others' comfort over our own.

Perhaps you, or people around you, were told:
- “Don’t be so sensitive.”
- “Go hug them, even if you don’t feel like it.”
- “Stop being difficult.”

These experiences chip away at our sovereignty, making it hard for us to trust our inner knowing, to recognize when our boundaries are being crossed, or to feel empowered enough to assert them.

In adulthood, this can manifest in many ways:
- People-pleasing: Going along with others’ wishes to avoid discomfort or rejection, even when it feels wrong.
- Difficulty saying “no”: Feeling obligated to say “yes” out of guilt, or fear of being seen as selfish.
- Ignoring gut feelings: Dismissing our body’s signals that something isn’t right because we’ve learned not to trust ourselves.

The impact is profound. When we consistently override our boundaries, we lose connection with our bodies and our inner wisdom. This disconnection can lead to burnout, resentment or a deep sense of disempowerment.

Reclaiming Your Sovereignty Through Boundaries
One of the most powerful steps you can take on your somatic sovereignty journey is to reclaim your right to say “yes” and “no”—and to feel it in your body. Boundaries are not about shutting others out; they are about creating the space you need to feel safe, whole and authentic. And consent is the active practice of honouring your inner voice, every time.

This process is not easy, especially when it requires undoing years of conditioning. When you first start to assert your boundaries, you may encounter:
- Guilt: A sense that you are letting others down or being selfish.
- Fear: Worry about being rejected, judged or abandoned.
- Discomfort: Unease with standing up for yourself, especially if you’re not used to it.

These feelings are normal. They arise because you are stepping into new territory—reclaiming your power in a world that often teaches womxn to shrink. But with each boundary you set, you strengthen your sense of self, deepen your connection to your body and step closer to your sovereignty.

A Somatic Practice for Consent: The Yes/No Head Movement
One way to reconnect with your body's innate sense of consent is through a simple somatic practice involving “yes” and “no” movements of the head. This practice helps you tune into what a “yes” and “no” feel like in your body, so you can begin to trust and act on these signals in everyday life.

Here’s how you can practice:

1. Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit or stand comfortably, allowing your spine to be long and your body to relax.

2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Begin to notice how your body feels in this moment—any areas of tension, tightness or ease.

3. Start with “yes.” Slowly and gently nod your head up and down in a “yes” motion. As you do this, imagine situations where you feel a true, embodied “yes”—moments where you fully agree or feel aligned with what’s happening. Notice how your body feels when it’s a “yes.” Is there a sense of openness, expansion or warmth?

4. Now move to “no.” Gently shake your head from side to side in a “no” motion. As you do this, recall moments where you felt a clear “no” but perhaps didn’t voice it. Notice how your body responds. Does it tighten, contract or resist? What does a true “no” feel like in your body?

5. Alternate between “yes” and “no,” slowly and mindfully. Begin to notice the distinct sensations that come with each. How does your body communicate consent and boundaries? Where in your body do you feel a “yes” or “no” most strongly?

6. Pause and reflect. After a few minutes, allow your head to return to a neutral position. Take a moment to notice how you feel overall. Is there any new awareness of your body’s signals or how you relate to boundaries?

Integrating Consent Into Your Life
As you continue to practice this simple yes/no movement, you are retraining your nervous system to recognize and trust your body’s signals of consent. This awareness is foundational in reclaiming your sovereignty.

The process of consent is an integral part of the work we do together in NeuroAffective Touch®️, Jungian Sandplay Therapy, Lomi Lomi Massage, and Somatic Experiencing®️ sessions. During these sessions, you are given choice and are invited to explore what your embodied “yes” and “no” feel like, and you are invited regularly to communicate these responses clearly. This ongoing invitation and practice in therapy sessions allows you to deepen your relationship with your own somatic awareness and inner boundaries, without the fear of upsetting or caretaking your therapist.

Next time you face a situation where a boundary is needed, return to this practice. Ask yourself: What does my body say? Is this a “yes” or a “no”?  With practice, you will find that your body holds all the wisdom you need to assert your boundaries and reclaim your power.

In sisterhood and sovereignty,