Burnout doesn’t just happen overnight. It often results from repeated violations of our boundaries – sometimes by others, sometimes by ourselves. When we’ve spent years ignoring the signals our body gives us, saying “yes” when we really mean “no,” or taking on too much to keep the peace, our nervous system can spiral into exhaustion. From a Somatic Experiencing® (SE) perspective, the path to reclaiming vitality and sovereignty begins with re-establishing our connection to the body and learning to listen to its wisdom about boundaries.

If you’re feeling burnt out, here’s how SE can help you develop and maintain boundaries that honour your needs, protect your energy and allow you to thrive:

1. Orient to Safety and Build Resources
Burnout often pushes the nervous system into survival mode, making it hard to access feelings of safety or calm. To rebuild, we need to start with safety.

- Orienting: Take time to slow down and use your senses to connect with your environment. What do you see, hear or feel that brings a sense of calm?
- Resources: Identify inner and outer resources that help you feel supported. This could be a memory, a person or a sensation of grounding in your body. These resources create a foundation for exploring boundaries without overwhelm.

2. Reconnect with Your Body’s Signals
When boundaries have been crossed repeatedly, it’s easy to lose touch with the body’s cues. SE helps you rebuild awareness of these signals.

- Practice noticing the sensations associated with a “yes” or “no”. For example, does “yes” feel expansive or tight? Does “no” bring relief or tension?
- Use gentle body scans to identify where you feel discomfort or ease when thinking about certain situations.

Your body holds deep wisdom about what feels right and what doesn’t. Learning to tune into these signals is the first step toward honouring them.

3. Complete the Stress Cycle
Burnout often stems from unprocessed stress. When we can’t set boundaries or say “no,” our nervous system gets stuck in fight, flight or freeze mode.

- Revisiting Boundary Violations: In a safe and titrated way, explore moments when your boundaries were crossed. What did your body want to do but couldn’t? Maybe you wanted to push away, step back or say “stop.”
- Somatic Release: Use small movements or visualizations to complete these responses. For example, gently push your hands outward or imagine stepping back from the situation. This helps release stored tension and restores a sense of agency.
 

4. Practice Saying "No"
For many of us, saying “no” feels difficult or even impossible. SE helps us embody the experience of “no” in a safe and supportive way.

- Somatic Rehearsal: Practice saying “no” out loud while noticing what happens in your body. Does your chest tighten? Do you feel a sense of strength?
- Movement: Pair the word “no” with a physical action, such as pushing your hands outward or standing tall. These movements can help anchor the boundary in your nervous system.
- Start with low-stakes scenarios and gradually work toward more challenging ones.

5. Explore and Strengthen Your Personal Space
Boundaries are as much about energy and space as they are about words or actions. SE uses somatic exercises to help you reconnect with your personal space.

- Visualize Your Boundary: Imagine a protective bubble or wall around you. What size or shape feels right? How does it feel to expand or contract this boundary?
- Spatial Awareness:  Experiment with physical distance. Imagine someone stepping closer or farther away and notice your body’s response. This helps you attune to what feels comfortable.

6. Decouple Boundaries from Guilt or Shame
For many women, setting boundaries is tangled up with feelings of guilt, shame or fear of rejection. SE can help you untangle these beliefs.

- Identify Over-Couplings: Notice any somatic responses tied to beliefs like “If I set a boundary, I’ll hurt someone” or “If I say no, I’ll be rejected.”
- Create New Associations: Through somatic work, you can replace these patterns with new, embodied experiences of boundaries as acts of care and respect – both for yourself and others.

7. Regulate Your Nervous System
A dysregulated nervous system makes it difficult to recognize or enforce boundaries. SE provides tools to bring your system back into balance.

- Grounding Techniques: Use your feet to feel the floor, focus on your breath or engage in gentle movement to return to the present moment.
- Pendulation: Move between feelings of activation (e.g., tension or discomfort) and calm. This builds your capacity to handle boundary-related stress without overwhelm.

8. Celebrate Small Wins
Boundary-setting is a practice. Each time you honour your needs, no matter how small, you’re strengthening your somatic sense of sovereignty.

- Reflect on moments when you successfully set a boundary. How did it feel in your body? Where did you notice strength or relief?
- Acknowledge and celebrate these moments as acts of self-care and empowerment.

Reclaim Your Sovereignty
Developing strong boundaries isn’t just about saying “no” – it’s about reclaiming your energy, honouring your body’s wisdom and stepping into your power. From a somatic perspective, this journey is deeply personal and profoundly healing. By reconnecting with your nervous system and listening to its cues, you can create boundaries that not only protect you but also nurture your growth and well-being.

Your boundaries are your birthright. They are the foundation of your sovereignty. Start small, trust your body and watch as your capacity for vitality and self-respect grows.

To Your Empowerment and Sovereignty,